The Hardest Goodbye






If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been for the past weeks, this is what’s been going on…

Kali, the sweet bunny after which this blog is named, has been my constant companion for so many years.  We have been together since my senior year of high school.  I remember the hardest part of living at college was that she couldn’t be with me in my dorm.  She later joined me in my junior year when I moved off campus and we haven’t been apart since.

Kali was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer five weeks ago and the vet didn’t seem very hopeful about her survival so I took her home, wanting to spend as much time with her while I could.  After hours of research, I adjusted her diet in a way to help her as much as I could and we spent that entire weekend cuddling.  After that day she seemed to get better and better even though I knew the cancer was spreading.  She was happily eating and playing with her toys and I wished it could never end.  We had rough days over the course of the last few weeks where she didn’t want to eat and I’d blend up her veggies and give them to her in a syringe.  She loved being hand fed and pampered and it seemed to consistently perk her and her appetite up.  We ended up having a full five weeks after her diagnosis where I got to spoil her silly with treats and her favorite foods and cuddle with her for hours each day.  I won’t lie, I basically put everything else in my life on hold during these past weeks and honestly I’m glad I did because she’s my family and I love her so dearly.

As each week passed, I hoped that we’d make it one more and we did.  She seemed so happy that at times I forgot for a moment that she was sick.  Then came this weekend, she became very uninterested in her food and grew very weak.  The poor girl wanted to move around so badly but would just fall to the side instead.  I set her up with everything she needed right around her so she wouldn’t have to move.  I so badly hoped it would once again be just a bad day and tomorrow would be better.  On Sunday I woke up and looked over at her and I think we both knew it was going to be the day.  I could see the sadness in her eyes, as if she didn’t want to give up, but she had to.  We spent all day laying in my bed cuddling and crying.  Late Sunday night I made the decision to end her pain.  It was the hardest night of my life and I can’t believe she’s gone.  In the days since, everyone I walk into my bedroom and see her empty cage I can’t help but burst into tears.  Losing a pet is so emotional as they much such an impact on our lives.  I’m grateful that I had some fore warning so we could prepare as best as one can, but also so we could soak in every moment together and take lots of pictures together (the photos above are all from the last few weeks).

Kali is the reason I started this blog.  She is the reason I want to encourage others to live a cruelty free and environmentally conscious lifestyle, for her and animals everywhere, and I will continue to help make the world a more animal friendly place in her memory.

Xoxo, Amanda



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